A Monthly E-Zine For Those Recovering From Addictive Behaviors

"Denial & Delusion" by Paul Cook @ Porn-free.org

Singles Column: "Getting Personal" by Dominique founder of Single Victory

A Poem: "My Phantom Love" by Dominique

"Pornography & The Church" by Wesley King

Jokes From Crosswalk.com… Laughter is the best medicine… A merry heart doeth good like a medicine! Prov. 17:22

by Elisabeth A. Freeman

Coming into the Christmas season many of us were brought up to believe in Santa Claus and tell our parents about all the presents we wanted. Just like every other kid in America, that was my favorite holiday. My heart pounded with excitement wondering what I would get that Christmas morning.

I could picture the lights, blinking on the tree, the glistening tinsel, and the brightly wrapped presents encompassing our entire living room. I’d shake each box and guess what it could be, while my brother tore into his presents without a single thought.

But now, as a Christian, I realize that the best Christmas happened hundreds of years before I was even born. No one could give us such a wonderful present as was delivered that day. The Savior of the world was born. He spread his peace and joy abroad and brought hope to a hopeless and dying world. The shepherds were touched, the kings were shaken, and earth was changed.

The King of Kings was born to us. God gave the ultimate—his Son. So really, Christmas isn’t about all that we can get; but rather what we can GIVE.

We can give money to those less fortunate. We can give our time to someone who’s lonely or in need. We can give the homeless a warm place to sleep. We can give a cold cup of water to someone on a hot day. We can give an extra coat to someone who has none. We can give food to those whose cupboards are bare.

The truth is, we can give everything we have to the poor, but if Jesus Isn’t King of our lives, then it’s all done in vain. Jesus is love. And the Bible tells us that if we do everything, but have not love, we are NOTHING.

So, instead of getting all wrapped up in the season, look up above to the REASON—Jesus. If he isn’t King of your life, won’t you make him your King today?

John and I swapped papers. "I’d like one of these," John said, pointing out a tool set. Although he had enough tools to fill the bottom of the ocean.

I nodded, not wanting to make a big deal about it.

"This is kind of nice," I said showing him a leather jacket. But of course, I had enough outerwear to cover an entire continent.

We had already decided upon what to get the kids. The newest, hottest games, and the most advertised gadget on the market, of course. Although, honestly they had so many toys that we could hardly get in their rooms.

So, what is the perfect gift? Is there a such thing? I put the paper down and stared at John. He set his ad aside too.

"What?" he asked. "I see your wheels turning."

"Why do we spend all this time looking at ads, hurry to stores, bustling through crowds for what we think is the perfect gift?"

We both chuckled. Of course our memories of past Christmas’ flooded our minds. We had bought the kids enough presents to fill two rooms, and yet, nothing was PERFECT about it! We spent hours upon hours trying to put their toys together, make games work, and find the right batteries. Sometimes the toys were even broken. Between crying kids, mounds of gift-wrap covering the floor, and the timer going off on the Big Christmas Dinner—our Christmas Day was the most stressful day of the year.

There is only one perfect thing on this whole earth and that is Jesus Christ. You are never going to buy somebody something that they will always appreciate. You might get them something they’ll like for awhile, but they will always Want something else.

That’s why John and I have decided to get the kids a very minimal Christmas, focus on what’s really important, and take time out to be TOGETHER, in each other’s arms… because no gift can ever replace the gift of love. LOVE IS THE PERFECT PRESENT. Give the gift of Love. Read about Love in I. Corinthians 13.

After reading a marriage book, a retired accountant and his wife realized the importance
of having friends as support. After finishing some work around the house, the wife decided to call another couple to see what they were doing. "Not much," said the other wife, "we're just drinking tea and talking."

The accountant's wife hung up the phone. "Why don't we do that?" she demanded. "They're just drinking tea and talking."

"So," said the accountant, "fix us a pot of tea." Soon they sat with their freshly brewed tea, staring at each other. "Call them back," he directed, "and find out what they're talking about."

"In Africa, where sexual matters are mostly discussed in hushed tones, if ever at all, the sheer devastation of HIV/AIDS is bringing us all to the realization that silence is perhaps our biggest enemy in this enormous challenge in our history."

By Paul Cook

Pornography idolizes sex and lures many into worshipping it with their time and resources.   It promotes many lies through its depictions. If we fill our eyes and mind with it, we start to believe its lies. The more pornography we view, the more deceived we become. We start to see nothing wrong with blatant sex sin, and can be easily snagged by perversions like homosexuality, incest, adultery and fornication.

"I’m not harming anyone"

"It’s better to look at porn than to actually commit the sin with someone"

"God made me with sexual urges and this is just a healthy way to release the energy"

"I can control the urges"

"This won’t affect my ability to share God’s love with others"

"I’m an adult and can look at whatever I want"

"They’re just pictures…they’re not really affecting me."

These may seem like obvious lies, but to the sex addict they can seem true. The addict will even try to persuade others to believe the lies.

by Wesley King

Evidence for this is clearly found in 2 Timothy 2:2 which says, "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others."

It is by this process that orthodoxy may be maintained through the faithful passing on true doctrine from generation to generation. Obviously, the church has failed to maintain proper discipleship when it comes to many sexual issues, not the least of which is pornography.

SPIRITUAL CLASSICS: Self Denial

Another remedy against backsliding is self-denial. This is the very essence of all spiritual victory. Just as self-indulgence grows on us in a thousand imperceptible ways, so self-denial should encircle our entire lives.

If the examples of all the saints in the Scriptures and in the history of the Church are worth anything, we see that they reached their highest degree of spiritual strength through fasting, abstinence and self-denial in the bodily appetites, in mental pleasures, in social ease, and of all worldly gratifications.

One writer has inquired, "Whoever saw a real fat, over-fed person noted for deep spirituality?" Tens of thousands of Christians are constantly eating too much, talking too much, gratifying their whims, their pleasures, in such measure as to grieve the Holy Ghost, and lay foundations of much secret sin, if not terrible outward falls.

Luxurious ease and self-indulgence are a way of life for thousands of American Christians. In this age, it is sadly rare to find true, heroic self-denial. St. Peter tells us that we are to "arm ourselves with the principle of self-denial." This principle of self-denial is to extend to the use of our senses, guarding our eyes, our words, our manners, our social behaviors--anything that would give the body or the intellect power over the interior spirit.

If we look upon self-denial as a hard, irksome thing, over which our nature whimpers and whines, it shows we have not yet entered the real crucifixion of self. When we pass certain points in grace, self-denial will have a secret joy and heavenly sweetness attending it that far exceeds in peace and joy all the overindulgence of nature.

Remember: When we break down on self-denial, we drift in our spiritual life.

POWER VERSE: