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Accordion jokesAn accordion is a bagpipe with
pleats.
Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An
accordion player with a pager.
Q: What is the difference
between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20
rounds.
Q: What do accordion players use as a
contraceptive?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the
range of an accordion?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
Q: What's a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play
the accordion, but doesn't.
Q: What's the difference between
an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an
accordion.
Q: What's the difference between an accordion
player and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have
sympathisers.
Q: What's the definition of perfect
pitch?
A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it
touching the sides.
Q: What's the difference between an
accordion and a concertina?
A: The accordion takes longer to
burn.
Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?
A:
Hide it in an accordion case.
Q: What's an accordion good
for?
A: Learning how to fold a map.
Q: What's the
difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?
A: A chainsaw can
be tuned.
Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a
half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don't disgrace
themselves in parades.
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