GUIDE: Ask the forgiver to consider now their answer to the question: "What has been the learning in this for me?"
FORGIVER SPEAKS AND/OR WRITES:
| "The learning for me in all this has been......." |
GUIDE: Help the forgiver to extract the maximum spiritual learning and skill from this whole experience by having them reflect for a time upon the most important learnings they have found in doing this process. This helps to transfer the skills to the long term memory.
You now will be seeking to maintain the loving attitudes, the flow of unconditional love through you, and the corresponding energy patterns towards the person you have just forgiven in your daily life. You may ask - "What are the possible outcomes?"
Some people find that doing a complete forgiveness process is a very deep and permanent change which can erase the pain of painful memories so that they do not ever recur or control them subconsciously.
Others find that a situation may happen which seems to start off the old reactive patterns they had, but they notice immediately what is happening, and they can quickly restore the centred, loving attitude and energy pattern, and take effective action.
Of course, knowing the forgiveness process does not necessarily mean that Life will never offer your any more problems and challenges to resolve! If you are in an ongoing relationship with someone who continues to offend you, you may have to take remedial action, strongly and firmly.
which requires you to condone or put up with offensive behaviour. |
My observation is that people who carry out the forgiveness processes BEFORE taking action, are able to take more effective action and are less stressed by the process than those who do not do the forgiveness process first.
Go over your notes from beginning to end and contemplate what that would mean to you. I only know of one person who did that deliberately, and that person remained ill and became even more ill with chronic illness as time went on. YOU may have to ask yourself - What would be the consequences of returning to resentments and bitterness - in one year, in five, in twenty-five years...? What sort of person do YOU want to be at those times in the future - a loving person or a bitter person, a well person or an ill person? The choice is YOURS, always. Forgiveness is not compulsory, no one can make you do it. Only YOU can decide.
Very good results have been obtained in relationships where one party (or both) has used this process regularly over time. You will also get very quick about it, and not need the whole procedure as laid out here once you have understood and learned it well.
1. CHECK ALL THE DETAILS IN YOUR NOTES. YOU ALMOST CERTAINLY WILL NEED TO USE THE "SELF-FORGIVENESS" PROCESS AS WELL
2. REVIEW THE SECTION ON OVERCOMING OBSTACLES
Link here to go to Overcoming Obstacles to the Forgiveness Process
3. CHECK YOUR WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE
Do forgiveness work often, before resentments mount up, and especially for those close to you, with whom you live and work. Indeed it will be for those whom you love most that you are most likely to need to use this Process. Let it become a good habit, and as ordinary as brushing your teeth or cleaning up the dishes. To free others from our demands and expectations is a service to them, to ourselves, and to our planetary life.
This is inner work. Never do it "at" another person, with any desire to manipulate them. Nor in personal confrontation with them. Keep silent about it. Refrain from reciting the bad about any other person (gossip). Instead, start "good rumours".
This process can also be used to forgive inanimate objects, - noise, traffic, allergens etc. Believe it or not, I know of one person who ended an allergy to a certain kind of pollen by applying the forgiveness process to the tree which produced it. I know of others who ended their allergies as they discovered that they were "anchored" in their memories to times of great distress in their lives and forgave the people responsible. I know of one person who had previously had hypertension that was poorly controlled with medication, who managed to obtain a normal blood pressure after completing a whole forgiveness agenda. These are of course only anecdotes. But the field is open to experiment for us to discover how many situations can be healed in this way.
The forgiveness process can also be used to forgive one's image of "God", or "Life" when one is angry with them, to restore the flow of love in ourselves once more.
As you use this exercise in Right Human Relationships, your awareness of the different "levels" of consciousness (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual), will increase.
Psychosynthesis study, meditation, and practise in daily life will help you to understand and experience the different levels of Will, Love, and Energy of the subpersonality, personal self, and Higher Self levels of consciousness more fully.
Link here for an article on the use of Alternative Imagery, Shortened Versions and the "Travelling Forgiveness"
Link here to go to Patterns of Unconditional Love in Action - The Goodwill Patterns
Link here to go to Role of Guide and Guiding Skills
Link here to go to Where to from now? Follow up actions
Link here to go to References and Further Resources
Link here to return to Forgiveness Programme - Contents