Edith Stauffer has called this step "The Cancelling Machine".
Remember you are choosing freedom from the negative effects upon yourself of residual resentment, grudge, bitterness, etc. As you carry out this step,be aware of how much INTENTION you are putting into it. Your INTENTION is crucial. Do you intend to set yourself free, or not? If not, how much longer do you intend to go on suffering...?
FORGIVER, say or write:
"I am now choosing freedom. I am choosing to forgive, and restore a healthy flow of love. I now cancel and remove for ever my insistence (or demand) that you should have said or done what I would have preferred *, as the condition for me to love (or have goodwill towards) myself, (pause), or you, (pause), or anybody else.
I now cancel my demand that you should be any certain way** as the condition for me to love myself, (pause) or you, (pause) or anybody else.
You were (and /or are) totally responsible for your thoughts and actions. I am giving you back that responsibility now, and I release you to your own highest good. In so doing I accept back my freedom and power to express love and goodwill in a healthy way." Make a gesture with your hands of handing back responsibility.*** |
* Sometimes it is good to cancel each demand in turn. For example: "I cancel my demand that you should have ....x...... I cancel my demand that you should have done .....y...., and so on until every one has been specifically mentioned and cancelled.
** This statement is made to commit yourself to TOTAL cancellation of all conditions that have blocked love/goodwill streams through you.
I have found that if sufficient care and thought has been given to making the Preference statements in Steps Seven and Eight, then can be sufficient to use the more global statement given here.
*** One of Edith Stauffer's great insights was that Unconditional Love is love which gives responsibility to the one loved. A parent who trains, coaches and then and increasingly gives responsibility to their children will have children who in later life feel they were truly loved. A parent who never lets their children take responsibility will have children who in later life almost feel as if they were hated and controlled. can you imagine the feelings which cold underlie this statement: "My Mummy and Daddy loved me so much that they tied up my shoe laces for me, parted my hair on the side they chose for me so lovingly, chose all my friends, chose the subjects I should study, and drove me to university every day until I got the PhD they wanted me to get"? This step is ensuring that you re-programme you mind to no longer react or respond (take response-ability) in your system for what the other person did. You are actually setting both parties free.
Are you ready for the next step? If so go to Step Eleven - The First Energy Reality: Self Healing
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