It is important to discover ALL the negative conclusions and beliefs that came into existence at the times of your pain and unmet needs. These can be weeded out of your mind, and then they will no longer control your life. Wiser beliefs can be substituted for them, beliefs that will work better for you and those with whom you live.
Energy follows thought. Everything around you in your room is the result of how someone thought. Before it was thought into existence, it was invisible, intangible. The outer form is a reflection of the thinking that preceded it.
Your behaviour is a function of what you believe. But what you believe is not always conscious. Until you recognise what you believe there is little possibility of change, and even resistance to change.
Your life experiences can be seen as feedback of the strengths and weaknesses in your belief system. Recognise this, and you can take appropriate action.
FORGIVER, (leaving plenty of space between each item - 3 items per A4 page is about right) say, and write:
"As a result of what happened between us I came believe that..... I was/am .... You were/are .... Men are .... Women are .... Families are .... Children are .... Relationships are.... The World, Life, or God is .... Sex is.... Money is.... Authority is.... etc. (as relevant)" (Search for and write down all the important negative conclusions, thoughts, beliefs and decisions about yourself, about the other person, all the negative generalisations about men, women, families, sex, money, and the world, God, or life, etc., which you formed. In some cases it may be important to include your beliefs about Parenting, Responsibility, Death, Power, Daughters, Sons, Fathers, Mothers, Partnership....). |
Take your time to do this step very thoroughly. You will need pen and paper - several pages usually. Describe, as fully as you can, all the negative conclusions and thinking patterns that arose as a result of your interactions with this person, thing, or organisation. It flows on from what you did in Step 5. You, or the guide, will write them down.
Examples: "What happened made me not only feel angry and humiliated, it also made me conclude that all people of your sex or race could not be trusted, and that I was a weak and unworthy person. It also made me wish you would get ill or have an accident." "What happened made me feel so guilty, I came to believe I was worthless and would be better off dead". Search all these out and be honest with yourself. Be vigilant for the times when the pain turned to thoughts of revenge, illness or death wishes. Notice how easily this can happen when a person is very distressed.
Thoughts produce results. Virtually everything around you is the effect of thought. Positive thought tend to produce positive results. Negative thoughts produce negative results, immediately or later.
It is important to find out what negative thoughts, conclusions and beliefs you formed in the past, so you can heal them before they do (more) damage.
GUIDE, Read the negative beliefs discovered back to the forgiver, so the forgiver can see the whole pattern and become conscious of the effect of this belief system in their lives.
FORGIVER:
Reinforce your understanding and motivation to forgive by saying, as if to the one you are forgiving:
| "I need to forgive you because not only have I had enough of feeling bad about all this, I am also very tired of living my life out of the old beliefs and conclusions I came to in the past." |
Guide, check out - "Is that true?" - does the forgiver really want to change the negative beliefs?
Are you ready for the next step? If so, go now to
Steps Seven & Eight - Preference Statements and the values underlying them
Link here to return to Forgiveness Programme - Contents