GUIDE: "Now you can "look up" in your mind's eye towards the Higher Self, the Naphsha, Deep Self, Soul, Wise Person Within, Transpersonal Self, or True Self (use the words with which you are most comfortable). Address your Higher Self asking for help with whatever it is that you feel badly about".
FORGIVER:
The first time you do this you may have quite a long list. Over the years we can accumulate quite a lot of residue! Give it the time it deserves, therefore, if you wish to give yourself the best outcome. I spent seven hours doing a major cleaning of my emotional and mental "household" in this way and I felt a great relief when it was completed. This is probably less than the amount of time your car receives when being serviced in any one year.
It is quite legitimate to process only one or two "hot" items at a sitting. However if you are willing to make the time and effort, I would recommend doing a complete job of self-forgiveness.
If you decide to to the complete job, then specify ALL the errors-in-the-mind or in behaviour for which you are seeking help and forgiveness. It is usual to list first the ones you already know about. Then go on to check from the list of occasions for self-forgiveness, below, if you are having difficulty in "seeing" some of the less obvious areas for self-forgiveness that are so much needed nowadays. This list is made up of items which other people have found to be important to them. Using it may jog your memory and enable you to do a more complete housecleaning of your emotions and mind than otherwise would be the case if you waited for items to come up bit by bit over many years and processed them piecemeal.
Some of these may indeed be past actions that we recognise we still feel bad about, for example breaking the criminal laws (theft, rape, murder, violence, etc.) Even though not illegal, some people still feel deep regret about certain actions they have done or not done (e.g. abortions they or their partners have undergone, or neglecting important obligations).
But much more often, the conditions in the mind that are blocking the flow of love are patterns of belief, ways of thinking. They will nearly all have arisen at times when our needs were not met, and we reflexly did the best we could under the circumstances and with the background and equipment that we had then. Just as when we look at others through the perspective of the Forgiveness of Others Process, in this process we begin to see beneath our negative ways of thinking, feeling and acting our own cries for love
The following list has helped others to see where self-forgiveness is needed.
Continuing old patterns that hold you back from our potential - specify what yours has been:-
Self-hatred, Belittling yourself.
Overachieving, Over ambition, or sacrificing others to your ambitions and wants.
For not meeting your own needs harmlessly.
Depressing yourself Pessimism Joylessness
Comparing yourself with others unfavourably
Grieving longer than was necessary over loss
Not grieving - suppressing your feelings
Sabotaging yourself
Feeling false guilt
Self-pity
For times when self-pity led you into helpless paralysis; for not meeting your own needs
Believing that you were the victim of others and powerless to make choices or changes
Criticising yourself for NOT BEING PERFECT! ("If criticism worked we'd all be perfect!")
Going against your values, perhaps submitting to the will of others to do so
Dishonesty
Intolerance Arrogance Lack of large enough perspective
Procrastination For wasting time
Causing harm by overindulging in:
Excess of food, or too little food Alcohol Drugs Smoking
Gambling Work Sex, etc.
Abusing yourself, physically, emotionally, or mentally Abusing others
For believing that all others are untrustworthy (or some other negative attribute) etc., because in our past one person (or some people) broke your trust
For not taking responsibility For taking too much responsibility
Over- or Under-valuing yourself (Its just as wet either side of the bridge!)
Over- or q under-risking.(ditto)
Withholding love or appreciation when it could have been given
Rejecting other peoples' love, carelessly
Harbouring thoughts that were harmful to your self or others (Attack thoughts), eg.
Irritability, short fuse, Impatience Criticism Revenge
Death-wish on self Illness-wish on self
Wanting others dead or ill
For not making a conscious choice about having children
Believing what others (parents, teachers, peer group) programmed you with, e.g. believing that you are
Weak Dirty Bad Blemished in some way.
Ugly Unworthy Unlovable
A sinner Incompetent Less intelligent or capable than you really are
Have no right to be here Should feel ashamed
Believing that you must be punished for your "sins", and for creating such punishments by:
Illness Unhappy relationships
Staying in a bad situation that was unhealthy for you when you could have left or created something better
Not accepting and responding positively to the opportunities life offered you
For any other times when you failed to maintain a loving attitude towards
Yourself Others, or The Source of Life. Can you think of anything else?
Especially note that:
CRITICISING yourself DEPRESSING yourself SABOTAGING yourself for doing any of these
ARE ALL "MISSING THE MARK" and the effects caused by these problems can only be relieved by full and complete forgiveness.
Only the Higher Self part of your consciousness can cancel the conditions in your mind that led to the diminished vitality and loveflow, which are inevitable consequences of patterns like the above. You can experience the different qualities of energy at the different levels of consciousness during the Forgiveness processes.
Add any other core beliefs of items that you think could be important for yourself here, for example, any negative beliefs about the nature of:
Yourself - "I am ....................................."
Others - "So-and-so is .........................."
Men - "Men are ....................................."
Women - "Women are ........................."
Families - "Families are ........................"
Children - "Children are ........................"
Relationships - "Relationships are ........"
The nature of sex - "Sex is ..................."
Money - " Money is ..............................."
Time - "Time ........................................."
Life - "Life is .........................................."
God - "God is ......................................."
The World - "The world is ...................."
Authority - "Authority is ........................."
Teachers - "Teachers are ....................."
Parenting - "Parenting is ......................"
Responsibility - "Responsibility is ..................."
Religion - "Religion is ......................."
Others?
Your list is likely to include ways of thinking as well as ways of behaving. You can do this very completely all at once, or over several days.
Write, or your guide can write, what these are, leaving a space between each. I usually find that it is best if no more than three items are put on any one A4 page.
are becoming "visible" through Kirlian photography and electromagnetic measurements. These demonstrate how your energy field is altered by thoughts, emotions, nutritional and environmental factors, and by the way you choose your goals and attitudes. It is hypothesised in this Forgiveness material that a "negative" mind-set or attitude towards yourself, others, or life itself diminishes your life energy by simultaneously cutting you off from the energy (healing, love and joy) of the Higher Self. "Negative" means "minus", or subtraction.
Link here to go on to SF Step Five - Preference Statements: What would have worked best
Link here to return to Forgiveness Programme - Contents