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Love in Buddhism

Walpola Piyananda Thera

Dharma Vijaya Buddhist Vihara, 1990

...... ... .  . .  .  .

 

Part II :

Illustrations and practice of love and compassion


 

Lovingkindness for Everybody

 

Most of us are a long way from being able to express love and compassion as the Buddha did. Yet the lessons of the last three stories are lessons we can all learn. And we can cultivate these "divine dwellings" to improve ourselves, to work towards the end of our own suffering and thus be able to help all beings. As you become more proficient in practicing lovingkindness, you are more and more like the Buddha.

To cultivate metta, it is advisable to find a quiet place where you can release all tensions and not be disturbed. Try to find some place away from the turmoil, hustle and bustle of daily life. The place can be a room, a garden, your bedroom; anyplace that feels comfortable to you. Once you find the place, stick with it. Also, for best results, it is good to decide on a particular time for daily practice twice daily, morning and evening for at least five minutes each, you will, as the Buddhist texts say,

Sleep and wake in comfort;

you see no evil dreams;

you are dear to humans and non-humans;

deities protect you;

fire, poison and weapons cannot touch you.

Your mind quickly concentrates,

your countenance is serene,

and when you die,

it will be without

cnfusion in your mind.

Even if you fail to attain nirvana, you

will pass to a world of bliss. (33)

Lovingkindness should be practiced first towards yourself. If you do not love yourself, how can you love others? Therefore you have to be friendly towards yourself. Do not burden yourself with an unhealthy guilty conscience. Human nature is human nature. No one is all good, no one is all bad. Even if you do something wrong, you need not feel guilty, but should take advantage of the opportunity to correct yourself. You should not repent on the past, nor brood over the future. Look inside yourself to gently eradicate feelings of superiority or inferiority. You will reach a point where unhealthful thoughts and actions will not arise.

You can give others what you yourself have. You cannot give others what you have not experienced. Loving yourself involves appreciating you own values. Appreciating your own value, you will appreciate others and their service to mankind. When you recognise that you are the best you can be, you will realise that others are the best they can be, too.

Love is the best antidote for anger. It is the best medicine for those who are angry with themselves. Let us extend lovingkindness, metta, to all, with a free and boundless heart:

Love is firm, not grasping;

Love is unshakeable, not tied down;

Love is gentle, not hard;

Love is helpful, not interfering;

Love is dignified, not proud;

Love is active; not passive;

Hate restricts, but love releases;

Hate brings grief, but love brings peace;

Hate agitates, but love calms;

Hate divides, but love unites;

Hate hinders, but love helps;

Love guides to right understanding;

Love guides to right thought;

Love guides to right speech;

Love guides to right action;

Love guides to right livelihood;

Love guides to right effort;

Love guides to right mindfulness;

Love guides to right concentration.

Love teaches us to be hospitable and charitable to one another. Love teaches us to speak pleasantly and agreeably with one another. Love teaches us not to quarrel among ourselves, but to work for each other’s welfare. We even extend our love to those who hate us, for our enemy in this life may have been our mother, father, brother, or sister in a previous life. Thus we can reflect:

This person, when she was my mother

in a previous birth, carried me

in her womb.

When I was a baby, she cleaned me

without disgust.

She played with me, nourished me,

and carried me in her arms.

Thus she nourished me with deep love.

When this person was my father

in a life, he risked his

life for me in pursuing wealth for

my comfort.

When born as my brother, sister,

son, or daughter, he or she treated

me with love care and gave me

every possible help for my welfare.

So it is unjust for me to harbor

anger towards anyone merely because

of some disagreeable thing done to

me in this life. (34)

When anger arises, we can counteract it by recollecting impermanence, as follows:

That person has now changed

completely, mind and body:

what can I be angry with there?

am I angry with hair, nails, teeth or skin?

By such a method one finds out that one is not angry with that person, but with one’s ideas and feelings. This is a good reason to start lovingkindness towards oneself first. You may use a short reflection as follows:

May I be free from sorrow and always happy,

May those who desire my welfare

be free from sorrow and always happy;

May those who are indifferent towards me

be free from sorrow and always happy;

May those who hate me be free from

sorrow and always happy;

May all beings who live in this city

be free from sorrow and always happy;

May all beings who live elsewhere be

free from sorrow and always happy;

May all beings who live anywhere in

the world be free from sorrow and

always happy.

May all beings living in every

Galaxy and each element of life in

Each of those systems be happy,

Having achieved the highest bliss.

Whatever being there are:

Timid, strong, and all other,

tiny or huge,

long, average, or short,

seen or unseen, living near or far,

born or coming to birth,

may all these beings have

happy and healthy minds.

Let no one deceive another,

Nor despise anyone anywhere.

Neither in anger nor ill-will

Should one wish another harm.

As a mother would risk

her own life to protect

her only child,

So should one cultivate

a boundless heart

towards all living beings.

Let our love pervade the whole world,

without any obstructions,

above, below, and across.

A traditional chant from Sri Lanka can also serve as a good base for establishing lovingkindness:

Aham avero homi-

May I be free from enmity

Abyapajjho homi-

May I be free from hurtfulness

Anigho homi-

May I be free from troubles of

Mind and body

Suki attanam pariharami-

May I be able to protect my own

Happiness

Sabbe satta-

Whatever beings there are

Avera hontu-

May they be free from enmity

Sabbe satta-

Whatever beings there are

Abyapajjha hontu-

May they be free from

Hurtfulness

Sabbe satta-

Whatever beings there are

Anigha hontu-

May they be free from troubles

of mind and body

Sabbe satta-

Whatever beings there are

Sukhi attanam pariharantu-

May they be able to protect

their own happiness

These reflections and meditations form part of traditional Buddhist practice. We can say that lovingkindess is the basis of Buddhist ethics. Of course all true religions and spiritual traditions share this kind of dedication towards spreading happiness, so thoughts and meditations such as these are not limited to those who follow the teaching of the Buddha.

But for those who are following the path of Buddha to the end of suffering, lovingkindness can be the base of a meditative practice which will lead to awakening, the end of suffering. We recommend you start your day by chanting and reflecting on the following:

Sharing lovingkindness

May I be well, happy,

peaceful and prosperous.

May no harm come to me,

may no difficulties come to me

may no problems come to me;

may I always meet with success.

May I also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failures in life.

May my parents be well, happy,

peaceful and prosperous.

May no harm come to them

may no difficulties come to them

may no problems come to them;

may they always meet with success.

May they also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failure in life.

May my teachers be well, happy,

peaceful and prosperous.

May no harm come to them

may no difficulties come to them

may no problems come to them;

may they always meet with success.

May they also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failures in life.

May my family be well, happy,

peaceful and prosperous.

May no harm come to them

may no difficulties come to them

may no problems come to them;

may they always meet with success.

May they also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failures in life.

May my friends be well, happy,

Peaceful and prosperous.

May no harm come to them

May no difficulties come to them

May no problems come to them;

May they always meet with success.

 

May they also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failures in life.

May those unfriendly to me be well,

happy, peaceful, and prosperous

May no harm come to them

may no difficulties come to them,

may no problems come to them;

may they always meet with success.

May they also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failures in life.

May all living beings be well,

happy, peaceful and prosperous.

May no harm come to them

may no difficulties come to them

may no problems come to them;

may they always meet with success.

May they also have patience, courage,

understanding, and determination

to meet and overcome inevitable

difficulties, problems,

and failures in life.

To continue your mefitatio, you can follow the above with a period of sitting holding only the thought of lovingkindness in your mind, feeling yourself infused with lovingkindness and radiating it in every direction.

We hope all people may profit from this devotion and practice, and in conclusion I will quote a Buddhist blessing:

May the suffering not suffer,

The fearful not fear,

The grieving not grieve;

May all beings be well and happy.


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Update: 01-04-2001


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