The four immeasurables are found in one brief and beautiful prayer:
May all sentient beings have happiness and its' causes, May
all sentient beings be free of suffering and its' causes, May all sentient
beings never be separated from bliss without suffering, May all sentient
beings be in equanimity, free of bias, attachment and anger.
The
Buddha taught the following to his son Rahula (from "Old path white clouds" by
Thich Nhat Hahn):
"Rahula, practice loving kindness to overcome anger. Loving kindness has
the capacity to bring happiness to others without demanding anything in
return. Practice compassion to overcome cruelty. Compassion has the
capacity to remove the suffering of others without expecting anything in
return. Practice sympathetic joy to overcome hatred. Sympathetic joy
arises when one rejoices over the happiness of others and wishes others
well-being and success. Practice non-attachment to overcome prejudice.
Non-attachment is the way of looking at all things openly and equally. This
is because that is. Myself and others are not separate. Do not reject one
thing only to chase after another. I call these the 4 immeasurables.
Practice them and you will become a refreshing source of vitality and
happiness for others."
If you are interested in meditating on these and many other subjects, see
the List
of Sample Meditations.
LOVE
The definition of love in Buddhism is: wanting others to be happy. This
love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including
self-acceptance). The "near enemy" of love, or a quality which appears
similar, but is more an opposite is: conditional love (selfish love, see also
the page on attachment).
The opposite is wanting others to be unhappy: anger, hatred. A
result which one needs to avoid is: attachment.
This definition means that 'love' in Buddhism refers to something quite
different from the ordinary term of love which is usually about attachment, more
or less successful relationships and sex; all of which are rarely without
self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to de-tachment and unselfish
interest in others' welfare.
The definition is: wanting others to be free from suffering. This
compassion happens when one feels sorry with someone, and one feels an urge to
help. The near enemy is pity, which keeps other at a distance. The
opposite is wanting others to suffer, or cruelty. A result which one needs
to avoid is sentimentality. (See also the page on compassion.)
Compassion thus refers to an unselfish, de-tached emotion which gives one a
sense of urgency in wanting to help others. From a Buddhist perspective, helping
others to reduce their physical or mental suffering is very good, but the
ultimate goal is to extinguish all suffering by stopping the process of rebirth
and the suffering that automatically comes with living.
The definition is: being happy with someone's fortune/happiness. Sympathetic
joy here refers to the potential of bliss and happiness of all sentient beings,
as they can all become Buddhas. The near enemy is hypocrisy or affectation.
The opposite is jealousy, when one cannot accept the happiness of others.
A result which one needs to avoid is: spaced-out bliss, which can turn into
laziness. Note: sympathetic joy is a great antidote to depression for
oneself as well, but this should not be the main goal. By rejoicing in
others' progress on the spiritual path, one can actually share in their positive
karma. Sympathetic joy is an unselfish very positive mental attitude which is
beneficial for oneself and others.
The definition is: not to distinguish between friend, enemy or stranger, but
regard every sentient being as equal. It is a clear-minded tranquil state of
mind - not being overpowered by delusions, no mental dullness or
agitation. The near enemy is indifference. The opposite is anxiety,
worry, stress and paranoia. A result which one needs to avoid is apathy.
Equanimity is the basis for unconditional, altruistic love, compassion and
joy for other's happiness and Bodhicitta. When we discriminate between
friends and enemies, how can we ever want to help all sentient beings?
Equanimity is an unselfish, de-tached state of mind which also prevents one
from doing negative actions.
The Buddha taught:
"If one tries to befriend an enemy for a moment, he becomes your
friend. The same thing occurs when one treats a friend as an enemy.
Therefore, by understanding the impermanence of temporal relations,
Wise ones are never attached to food, clothing or reputation, nor to
friends or enemies.
The father becomes the son in another life, Mother becomes the wife,
Enemy becomes friend; It always changes. Therefore there is
nothing definite in samsara."
