Kinder Than the BuddhaKhenpo Palden Sherab
translated by Khenpo Tsewang Dongyal, Rinpoches,Turtle Hill
November 9, 1995
Tonight I am going to talk about the relationship between the teacher and
students and the real nature of their bond. Before we begin, it is very
important to understand that the whole point of the Buddha's message is to
bring joy, peace and calmness to oneself as well as to other beings, and then
to reveal our true nature. No matter what teaching we approach in
Buddhism, all are basically concerned with the realization of these qualities.
That is the essential teaching or Dharma.
'Dharma' is a Sanskrit
word that has many meanings. One meaning is 'to adjust'; another is 'to
redirect'. What is being redirected here? Our current state of mind is very
wild. Having observed this, we can redirect awareness toward the true nature,
awakening the beautiful qualities of the primordial reality of the mind.
We have to turn the mind away from anger and negative emotions and tune into
the ways of love and compassion. This change of direction does not mean
that we are trying to get love, compassion and wisdom from somewhere else. We
already have these within us and only have to reveal them, to learn to
appreciate them and so bring them forth. This is extremely important to
understand.
Who is going to redirect the mind? No one is going to do it from the outside. It is your responsibility, 100% of it, and you are fully capable, so I think you will have to do it yourself. To redirect ourselves, we have to maintain a balance among the three states; the body, the speech and the mind. Work on keeping these in balance with courage and commitment, and joyfully redirect the wild mind and restless emotions towards the mind of love, compassion, and wisdom. The moment we do that, we find that peace and happiness are already there. We don't have to search outside of ourselves. In developing true love, genuine compassion, and wisdom, the mind automatically becomes balanced with the speech and body. The freedom that we have been looking so hard for externally is actually experienced.
Buddha gave 84,000 different teachings. All of them are designed to bring
more happiness and ease into our lives and then ultimately to reveal our
Buddha-nature. That is the whole purpose of the Dharma. The 84,000
teachings do not merely repeat the same thing again and again, but offer an
abundance of approaches to realizing the true nature. Because people have
different ways of understanding, Buddha explained things in many different
ways. To begin awakening all beings to the true nature of the mind, he
presented the Dharma from all angles, offering us plenty of choices. It is not
like Buddha has forced us to accept one single method of teaching or practice
and left us no alternatives. That limitation is not here. This is why Buddha
is known as the gracious teacher. He offers us many possibilities, so that we
can all begin to explore our primordial nature.
All 84,000
teachings can be categorized into two vehicles; the Hinayana and the
Mahayana. The Mahayana teachings are deeper than the Hinayana, and
within the Mahayana, the Vajrayana is deeper than the sutra Mahayana. Deeper
in that they reveal more of the true, primordial nature of the mind as it is.
To bring balance to the body, speech and mind, and to reveal their nature, it
is important to integrate all levels of these teachings.
In the
Vajrayana and Dzogchen texts, it is repeatedly stated that the authentic
ground, free from all obscurations, is the always already enlightened state,
the primordial nature of the mind. They clearly and precisely explain that the
original condition of mind is already awakeness. These are known as secret
teachings and they are very special and important in revealing the ultimate
state of the true nature.
It is not enough to just read
books. To actually follow this path and understand the meaning of the
secret teachings, you should approach qualified teachers who can transmit pure
lineage teachings. Beyond that, it is not sufficient to simply hear or know
about these things. We must practice to gain an experiential realization of
the meaning. You might be inspired on the basis of hearing or knowing
something about the teaching, and of course that will bring some benefit, but
this is relatively superficial and does not sink deeply enough into your mind
to bring about full awakening. Realization will not come merely by receiving
teachings. Realization only comes by actually putting the instructions
into practice through meditation.
In order to practice and
meditate and be able to absorb the Dharma within your heart, mind and body,
you must have devotion and confidence. That is really the only method.
Enlightenment will not come through the intellect or external pursuits, but
only by looking within, with joy, confidence and devotion. This attitude will
merge the teaching with your body, speech and mind.
It is always
important to practice and meditate on the teachings you receive.
Meditation and study are not separate from each other. Both can be done at the
same time. When you hear a teaching or start contemplating a text, you are
also beginning to practice meditation. In this way, you begin to actualize the
teaching while you are studying and contemplating. And meditation
clarifies the meaning of the teaching, so in a way, it is like gathering
knowledge, helping us gain insight into what the Buddha really meant.
Understanding more and more, realization inevitably comes.
When
you study, don't just think, 'Oh, this was said by the Buddha or a great
master, so it must be true.' Buddha Shakyamuni taught not to believe what he
said is true simply because he said it. Your own discriminating wisdom must be
applied to the teaching. You should analyze and think about it; you can reject
it. Discuss it with others, freely investigate the truth and
implications of all these statements. Do this as much as you'd like.
Inquire and find out for yourself whether what is being said is true or not.
But once you come to your own conclusions and find the true path, then you
must follow it. If you hesitate and vacillate about the truth of the
path after that, this is an obstacle. It has become doubt. In the
beginning, be sure to analyze and investigate, but once you develop certainty
wisdom, do not retreat from it. To waver then is an obstruction that
will weaken understanding and delay realization indefinitely. Doubt
stops spiritual growth and destroys the foundation of effective practice. Once
you have a good understanding and certainty wisdom arises, you should
courageously follow through. Then full realization will inevitably come. But
having already established yourself in the practice, to be stopped by thoughts
is a fetter and will block realization. It wastes all previous efforts.
Problems like these may arise.
In the course of practice you will
experience the entire spectrum of emotions. Practice is not limited to things
always working smoothly. Awakened states can shine through in many ways.
Emotions reflect the condition of the winds in the channels and many different
configurations are possible, but once we establish true confidence with
courage and commitment, no matter what comes up, whether it is a good sign or
a bad sign, - whatever, we should continue to hit the target and persevere in
moving toward the realization and full revelation of love and compassion in
our heart and mind. That is really the goal. Until then, don't falter but
continue to press forward.
Devotion includes loving respect and
appreciative understanding, but the ultimate form of devotion is characterized
by deep confidence or faith. In practice, these three qualities tend to
reinforce each other. First you investigate the teaching to contemplate what
it really means. Once you develop certainty wisdom and become intimate with
the meaning, you feel a sense of great appreciation. A wonderful feeling
of closeness develops in relation to the teacher and the teaching and this
leads to a clearer understanding and greater confidence. If you analyze
this, as Buddha advised, you can see how closely all three are
interconnected.
For example, one of the Buddha's teachings is
that every compounded thing is impermanent. If we have never heard this
before, we might think, 'What does this really mean?'
All compounded things are impermanent.
Is this the case or not? Think and analyze to see if this statement is true
or false. Impermanent means changing. Each instant everything is changing.
Time, the kinetics of mass-energy, and the flow of mental events, everything
is continually changing states. If you consider this and can see for
yourself that it is true, you will develop certainty wisdom and recognize the
truth of impermanence. As you come to discover the truth through both
your own wisdom and in the teaching, these two merge together so that it
becomes unnecessary to backup and say,' Oh, that's not true.' Such is doubt
and it is an obstacle.
All the Buddha's teachings reveal the true
nature; therefore it is called the truth. Buddha never talked about anything
outside of this. He said love and compassion are the ultimate state of
realization, that the Buddha-nature is inherent in all sentient beings as
love, compassion and wisdom. All these teachings point to the true nature, so
once you connect with your own deeper intelligence, you should not back out or
pull away as this will not bring any benefits to you or to others.
Having developed certainty in relation to the dharma, joyful effort arises
spontaneously. With good causes and conditions, the ultimate result will
inevitably ripen.
This is a general explanation of the
teachings.
Now the one who shows the teaching is known as the
teacher. There are many different classes of teachers, but as Buddha
Shakyamuni said many times in both sutra and tantra, the teacher should be
seen as kinder than all the Buddhas. The Buddhas left this world long ago and
have since passed into history, but their liberating message continues to be
carried and preserved in the world by qualified masters so that there remains
direct contact and communication for those wanting to explore their natures,
to learn the meaning of the dharmas and to develop their realizations. The
teachings are made available through the teacher so it is said that his
kindness exceeds that of the Buddha himself. This expresses a great
appreciation of the importance of a qualified master.
Qualified
teachers are also lineage holders. The lineage began with the Buddha and has
continued into the present. This is known as the chain of wisdom.
According to one system, there are two lineages; these are known as the oral
transmission lineage, consisting of the actual words and explanations, and the
chain of the powers of the wisdom blessing. In the Vajrayana it is said
that from Buddha Samantabhadra until now, qualified teachers have maintained
both the oral and wisdom powers intact. The Nyingma school recognizes three
lineages: the mind to mind transmission lineage, the symbolic transmission
lineage and the oral transmission lineage.
There are also many
teachings which describe qualified students. The relationship between a
teacher and a student depends on the strength of their spiritual bond, in
sharing a warm feeling of closeness, discriminative appreciation, and true
confidence. These are the key elements, the heart of their connection. If
these come together, great realization is forthcoming because awakening is
based upon meeting the teacher, analyzing and investigating the teaching
argument, and applying oneself to the practice with devotion.
Devotion is the doorway to receive the light of the Dharma. It is said in
the Buddha's teaching that devotion is like a channel to bring continuous
blessings. If we aren't devoted, we have no to receive these blessings.
Devotion is connected to your heart; it even penetrates your bones. It deepens
our inherence in the natural state and then begins to work on and redirect the
body, speech and mind. So devotion is very important in making a close
connection with the lineage and in bringing about full realization. Without
it, we are not prepared to actualize the practice and teaching. As I said
before, devotion is a combination of appreciation, closeness and confidence
based in wisdom. If we don't have it, we are not ready.
In many of
the biographies of the great masters of Tibetan Buddhism, it is said that your
realization will correspond to your devotion. If your devotion allows you to
see the master as a living buddha, you will develop the realization of a
buddha yourself. If you see the lineage masters as just good lamas or nice
people, then you also will have just a good or nice realization. If your
devotion to the master is small, your realization will be small. If you have
no devotion at all, you will have no realization at all. The degree of
realization depends upon the quality of devotion.
Take for
example, the very renowned Tibetan teacher Milarepa. He was not a
scholar. He did not go through monastic training programs or have any
academic education at all. However, the moment he met his teacher Marpa, he
gained complete certainty wisdom and unfailing, unshakeable confidence.
Milarepa saw Marpa as a true living Buddha. Even though Marpa put him through
so much difficulty, Milarepa's confidence, courage, and commitment never
wavered. If he didn't have this kind of commitment, if it was someone else,
there would be no such realization. Perhaps he would not have stayed around
his teacher for more than a few weeks before he decided to go away and never
come back. He might say 'How could I stay? Marpa is completely cuckoo!'
However Milarepa's faith and commitment were never shaken throughout all those
hardships, and soon afterward he became realized.
The life of
Milarepa is well known in Tibet and I am sure many of you have read the
story. He is just one very good example of the power of devotion. If you
have similar confidence, courage and commitment to the true teaching, you can
observe the precepts and you will get the same realization. There is no
question or doubt about any of this.
Marpa asked Milarepa to
build a nine-story watchtower. Milarepa had finished the first level when
Marpa's children came along playing and one of them helped him move a
boulder. Marpa visited the site when the tower was almost half done. He
watched for awhile and expressed his approval until he noticed this big rock
in a lower wall. He asked Milarepa where he got it and Milarepa told him that
one of his sons had helped him move it. Marpa got very angry when he heard
this. He said, 'How is this possible? You think you can use my children as
your servants? I never said you could do that! Remove this stone
immediately!' Then he left without waiting to hear any excuses. That was that.
Milarepa had to break the tower down to the ground and return the boulder back
to the space from where he'd dug it out. Marpa did this kind of thing to
Milarepa many times. If Milarepa did not have devotion, he would think Marpa
was crazy for making such a big fuss over that rock. But Milarepa never backed
down from his original motivation, his initial feeling of love and devotion.
He bravely persevered.
In the Vajrayana, the practice of devotion involves a lot more than just
trying to be nice. Whatever Marpa asked, Milarepa considered part of the
practice and purification designed to release and remove his negative karma
and obscurations. He thought in this way and saw it was true. He did exactly
as Marpa said and accepted it as his meditation and practice. When he finished
these labors, Marpa gave him a few teachings and then directed him to go to
the mountains and practice. He continued to do exactly as Marpa instructed by
meditating in the wilderness and soon became enlightened. With Marpa's
help, Milarepa realized Buddhahood in one lifetime. All the hardship he
went through became meaningful. It was all understood to be part of the
teaching, purifying his karma and revealing his true nature. This type of
understanding and realization is only possible through a continuity of deep
devotion, confidence, courage and wise appreciation.
In the
Tantras, it is taught that everything is already in the condition of
enlightenment, not only the teacher, but all beings, the elements and world
systems they comprise abide as primordial purity. In studying the Vajrayana
teachings, you must have heard many times that we are to see everything
as the pure land, to see everyone in the already awakened state. This is the
essence of the Vajrayana vision. And it is based in truth. Everyone is
really grounded in the enlightened state all the time and we can know this if
we recognize their real condition. When we look into the ultimate reality of
everyone's qualities, these are all enlightened states. Devotion is the door
opening mind to the original purity of the true nature and in this way, it is
a very special Vajrayana practice.
If we just continue living
with regimented attitudes and old habit patterns, clinging to our ideas and
biases, we reify the regular, mundane, ordinary world view. Carrying on like
that, there is no way to reveal the other side of the true nature and we are
not really mantra practitioners. Without devotion, we won't discover the
secret aspects of existence. As long as our habit patterns are rooted in
dualistic conceptions, there is really no way to discover our transcendent
qualities. To refocus or redirect ourselves, devotion is extremely important.
Devotion is the gateway between mundane conceptions and the non-conceptual. It
is the bridge that connects habit patterns to the natural expression of
primordial reality. It allows conditional habits to dissolve and transform
into wisdom qualities so that you can experience the unity of everything
abiding in one inseparable, dynamic display of the true
nature.
To actually practice Dharma and redirect our energy, we
must have devotion which manifests as love, a sense of closeness, appreciation
and confidence. In exercising devotion, we are also practicing pure
perception. The teacher may be very different or quite similar to ourselves.
Perhaps there is no difference at all in our realizations. The teacher may be
a little more advanced than the student but sometimes the student has more
realization than the teacher. In any case, devotion is the way to develop pure
perception.
Pure perception is to appreciate the primordial
qualities of the true nature. Start with the teacher and then begin to apply
the same pure vision to all beings. Practice on the teacher first, and then
gradually see everything in the state of primordial purity, just as you would
observe the teacher. Echoing Buddha Shakyamuni, the great Nyingma master known
as Patrul Rinpoche, said, 'You must see your teacher as kinder than Buddha,
even though he may not have the realization of a first bhumi bodhisattva. Why
is that? Because regardless of his realization, he is carrying and preserving
the true lineage teachings and his transmission can spark you into full
enlightenment if you apply joyful effort, courage and commitment in living
your response to that teaching. Because we can't be served by the
historical Buddha in this way, the kindness of our teacher may be said to
exceed that of the Buddha himself. Therefore we should see the teacher as even
kinder than the Buddha.
A Dzogchen tantra describes the nature of
the connection between the teacher and the student and concludes that their
relationship is one of true love, true compassion. Love is the bond. True love
awakens pure perception. You will recognize something precious and unique in
the teacher. And not just there. True love allows us to see that
everyone is special, even beautiful, not just the teacher. The quality and
power of love will transform perception and deepen understanding.
Throughout the teachings, from the Hinayana scriptures all the way to Dzogchen, the Buddha spoke again and again on the importance of love. Real love has nothing to do with attachment, dualistic habit patterns or neurotic grasping. True love is pure and beautiful with no trace of negative emotion, so it allows us to see everything in the state of beauty. Genuine love for each other is the heart of the teacher-student relationship. With unconditional love or devotion as the foundation, we may begin to practice and meditate. That is the next step.
Meditation practice must be done in three stages. Begin by arousing
bodhicitta. Bodhicitta is the non-dual wisdom of love and compassion in
relation to all living beings, including ourselves. Also, cultivate a sense of
appreciation for our opportunities and the good situation we have. This
circumstance has not just come about accidentally, but has many causes and
conditions, beautifully detailing who you are and what you have. We
should feel happy with all this. Think about it, wish for the good of all and
hold a strong and courageous commitment to use this opportunity to gain a
better insight into the ultimate meaning, to develop more love and compassion
so as to realize greater benefits for both ourselves and all others. This is
the initial stage of practice.
On that basis, generate devotion
and feel the presence of the teacher. Guru Padmasambhava is our real
teacher. See every qualified master as an emanation of Padmasambhava and
understand Guru Padmasambhava as the supreme embodiment of all Buddhas and
realized teachers. Feel his presence strongly and keep a heart connection with
Guru Rinpoche. Many of you have thangkas and pictures of Guru
Padmasambhava, so learn to visualize and feel him in a strong way, with joy,
happiness and heartfelt appreciation. Make wishes such as, 'May I
actualize my Buddha-nature instantly, so that I can benefit all beings. May
everyone be realized.' Arouse a strong aspiration and positive thoughts. These
are very good and important foundations, opening the door to pure perception
and transcendent understanding. Then maybe you can do the Seven Line Prayer
three times or Calling the Lama from Afar.
The third and main
part of the practice is often referred to in the teaching as the non-grasping
state. This non-dual freedom from grasping is the essential meditation and is
divided into two; the developing and completion stage practices. When we are
doing the visualization or the creation stage, we begin to see ourselves as
Buddhas. This is also the practice of pure perception and inseparable from
devotion. You will begin to see yourself as a true living Buddha; Guru
Padmasambhava, Chenrezig, Vajrasattva, Tara, or whatever you practice.
You should totally merge with the deity when you are in that state. You
are not just wearing a mask of the deity as if it were Halloween or a Broadway
show, but you are really seeing things as they are. Without any doubt or
hesitation you must seat yourself completely in that understanding. You
are not trying to become something that you are not. Attachment to dualistic
conceptions creates obstacles, so that we shrink from embodying reality
qualities, but when we begin to break through that conceptual prison,
collapsing and removing the wall, we are coming back to the original state.
You must learn to abide as the deity in a Buddha field, without any
hesitation. This is known as perfect visualization. When you see yourself as a
Buddha, you do not simply consider yourself as Buddha and the rest of the
world as ordinary, but everything is transformed into that state, both
subject and object, the universe and all sentient beings, everyone is in that
Buddha field together. This is known as true visualization.
Many
times in the teachings you will hear that all forms are the body of the
Buddha. Whether in the shape of human beings, mountains, trees, water or
furniture, all appearances are emanations of the body of the
Buddha.
There is also Buddhas' speech. Every sound, whether it
originates with human beings, animals, natural phenomena, or even inaudible
frequencies, such as the primordial sound, are all the speech of the Buddha.
Not just mantra or human speech, but every vibration is a manifestation of the
original purity of the Buddha's voice. This is the true understanding of the
speech of the Buddha.
Then there is the Buddha mind. Every mind,
including your own, is no other than the Buddha mind. Not only individual
sentient minds, but openness or space itself is a display of the
mind of the Buddha. In Dzogchen, this is known as kun-khyab rigpa,
pervasive awareness. What is pervasive awareness? The state of openness is
pervasive awareness. It is also called the unimpeded true nature, which
indicates that Dzogchen realization or the Buddha mind is not just a limited,
biased attitude or narrow understanding. The Buddha mind is the unbounded,
expansive reality, which pervades the whole of space. Again, it is referred to
as the fresh, naked state. It is always already fresh. It is completely naked.
It is never deluded or mixed up. It is never second hand. It is the original
purity, as it always is; pervasive, unimpeded, fresh, naked and
original. All this terminology is used in order to awaken the perfect
realization of this all-pervasive nature which is the primordial mind of the
Buddhas.
Clearly comprehending these three dimensions of the
Buddha while we meditate and recite mantra, is known as perfect visualization,
perfect recitation and perfect meditation.
Now if we look at all
of this, where does it come from? Where does it exist, where does it go? It is
all beyond conception. Conceptions cannot comprehend this because concepts do
not go beyond the surface. Limiting judgements accompany the arising of
conceptual subject and objects. We begin to hallucinate, superimposing
delusions over the true nature. The original state is beyond conception. It
can only be perceived by the pervasive nature of the mind. The kun-khyab
rigpa alone can understand that realization which is beyond conception.
When conceptions are informed by the true nature qualities, they are
transcended in place. As Guru Padmasambhava said, all phenomena, all dualistic
conceptions, disappear like clouds in the sky. Where do clouds come from? From
space. Where do they exist? In space. Where do they go? Back into space.
The whole of phenomenal existence arises, abides and dissolves within the
primordial state. Nothing separates or moves away from the sphere of reality.
Things are always in that condition. Similarly, all emotions, whether
they are positive or negative, are part of the display of openness, the Buddha
mind. All phenomena appear, exist and dissolve within that context. If
you aren't deluded, you will recognize the original purity flowing
through the movement of the emotions. The real nature of emotions is not
as you might think. What we call negative is just a superficial
perception, another aspect of the beauty of the true nature. Therefore,
it is said that the emotions are already liberated, already happening as a
display of wisdom energy. Also, in the higher tantra or Dzogchen
teachings, it is repeatedly stated that all emotions and conceptions are
expressions of freedom and realization. To practice with this
understanding is known as non-grasping, non-judgmental, non-dual
meditation. Continue to maintain this meditation without
distraction. Without ego-clinging or grasping phenomena, be part of
reality as it is. Applying that view to the whole of our life can really
become a very special practice.
At the end, dedicate the merit to
all beings and make aspirational prayers on their behalf. In offering them the
benefits of our practice, we again invoke the power of Bodhicitta. Having
begun with the right motivation and then to practice in a non-grasping,
non-judgmental way, is good, virtuous activity. To end a session, we should
offer to share whatever energy or merit we may have generated through this
practice with all beings. The dedication and aspirational prayers are an
important part of regenerating Bodhicitta. At the same time, understand that
dedication practice defines a transition in the overall form of the
meditation. But if we are devoted practitioners, we don't have to make any
limiting divisions. When one form of practice ends, another begins. The
end of formal meditation is the beginning of the post-meditation
state.
The great Master Patrul Rinpoche taught that there is no
fundamental distinction between the states of meditation and
post-meditation. With a good understanding of the teachings, we
transcend any differences. Both are aspects of one whole. In this
way, the closing prayers do not indicate the end of our practice but signal
the beginning of carrying the meditation experience into more externally
active levels of participation. After the dedication and aspirational prayers,
bring that same realization forward into the post-meditation state and begin
to engage your daily activities. Sometimes it may be difficult to
sustain a strong meditative continuity in the post-meditation state, but we
must be brave and stay inspired. Think, 'I am going to take the essence of
this practice back into the world.'
Once in a while throughout
the day as you're working, reflect on the value of love, compassion,
bodhicitta, courage and commitment. When strong emotions arise, don't
hold on to them; simply notice to let them go and move forward. This is the
way to begin practicing post-meditation awareness.
Non-grasping
meditation is the best kind. That means not clinging, not holding on to
things. This doesn't mean that you give up everything indiscriminately, but
you do not cling to emotions. Learning to let go brings patience and
tolerance. Courage also comes quite easily then. If emotions come up, don't
just immediately buy them. Check yourself with mindfulness and look within
before you act. That will make the whole situation a little softer. It
will be easier to handle the emotional energy and liberate
it.
QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
Q#1: If the student is trying to develop
devotion to the teacher and they hear these teachings of Patrul Rinpoche which
say that the teacher should be considered to be like the Buddha and even
better than the Buddha because he is here and now, and you go to your teacher
and your teacher tells you to do something that you wouldn't do, if you are
devoted, will you go ahead and do it anyway?
A: I think so, yeah, I think you'd have to do it. (laughter) If you read
the life stories of the great ancient masters, you will see that is definitely
what they did. Most of you know the story of Milarepa because his life story
has been translated. I think many of you know it , but there are many other
great masters from both India and Tibet who faced similar ordeals before they
were enlightenmened, revealing their courage, commitment and unshakeable
confidence. Of course if the teacher asks you to do something, and you
don't really think you can do it, then I think you can probably negotiate,
however I really think you should be motivated to carry it out if it is within
your capabilities. In general, I don't think a teacher would ask you to do
something that you cannot do. So you may have to readjust or negotiate the
conditions. I think that is the way of handling this. We should always be
inspired and courageous.
Q#1: That sounds very dangerous to
me.
A: (Laughter) That's true, but if you're going to get enlightened....
Q#2: The student is operating from egoic mind and doesn't really have the awareness or the enlightenment to judge what is being asked of them so devotion is necessary to carry on.
A: I think that is the teaching. If you have full confidence and devotion, then you will go ahead without hesitating, you will just do it. It is not just only in the relationship between the teacher and the student that we are talking about here; if you have confidence, courage and commitment in anybody, even if you don't see them as a teacher, even if they are a friend, you'll do it. There is no doubt that you will do it because of your courage, your confidence and commitment to that friend. Now of course in the teacher-student relationship many things may come up, however as I said, we have to respond according to our capabilities. We should not make excuses about our incapacity, but must bravely learn to expand our capabilities. We don't immediately have to do as much as Milarepa and all those great masters, because that might be too dangerous.
The Buddha gave many teachings on how to recognize a true teacher, as well
as qualified students. This is very important. There are descriptions of
qualified teachers according to the Theravada schools, in Sutra Mahayana, as
well as in the Vajrayana. Buddha said many times, the teacher is not to be
accepted merely because he is referred to as a teacher; s/he must must have
certain qualities. Not only the teacher, but the student must be qualified as
well. There are many teachings which explain these qualities. When you really
meet a qualified teacher, I don't think you will encounter any of the extremes
which you might imagine.
ŠTurtle Hill Sangha, 1998